Valentine's Day

When I opened up The Office in the morning, I noticed that the alarm system wasn't on, and a door was open on the third floor when it should have been closed. At 7:08am, there was barely daylight out and I was scared. If any axe murderers or rapists were lurking, no one would find me until at least 8:40am, when everyone else got to the office. But after patients started trickling in, I became more at ease.


Everyone wore pink and red today at The Office, except for me. I wore all black and I didn't comb my hair. I wasn't protesting Valentine's Day; I was merely tired and didn't have plans anyway. Danny has been home in Irvine for a couple of weeks, and I have no one at The Office to impress (all of our patients are at least 60 years old....hahaha...). I even volunteered to work early and stay late to cover for all of my coworkers who were going out to fancy dinners in the city. You can call it sad, but I call it saving money for med school.


Here are a couple of random things:


-I'm watching Friday Night Lights at the behest of two of my friends who passionately love it. I have devoured three seasons in the last two weeks. Danny says that is called addiction.

-I have four pairs of slacks for work that I rotate, from skinny to trouser. As the week progresses, my pants get looser and looser. My shoes also get more and more casual, from taking on the week's beatings.

-I am giving up caffeine. Or trying really hard to. I am also trying to get a Gold Card from Starbucks, so it looks like all I will be buying from Starbucks now are tea and chocolate croissants.

-When life gives you lemons, you should zest the peel and juice them and freeze the juice in the ice cube tray for later. Because when you need one tablespoon of lemon juice and have to run to the store to buy a single lemon, you're going to wish you had heard this advice. 

-My mom bought guacamole from Costco in a three-pack and I ate an entire pack. And now I never want to eat guacamole again in my life. The same thing has happened to me with peanut butter sandwiches (2 per day everyday for 4 years in college) and Ling Ling potstickers.

-Today is my baby brother's 19th birthday! I can't believe it.

-And here, a picture of Danny and me: 

Books I read in October

The Philanthropist's Danse 
Reading time: 8 hours on/off flights

Plot in a nut shell: A rich man's last wishes are that twelve seemingly random people come to his mansion to decide amongst themselves who gets his inheritance. 

Why I liked it: The plot line follows each character from their perspective and is very well-written. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's like a murder mystery novel...but not. It's like the Wizard of Oz who controls things from behind a veil...but not. It's like the "Motivation/Greed" chapter of a college psychology book (if there was such a thing--I don't know, I only took Psych 1)....but not.

...

The Flu (A Novel of the Outbreak) 
Reading time: 6 hours in one sitting

Plot in a nut shell: A strain of flu virus spreads across continents and kills 90% of its victims. Only one town is spared because it keeps everyone else out. The plot follows a family who suffers tragedies and a doctor who tries to save as many people as he can. 

Why I liked it: I'm drawn to the medically grotesque, remember? If you've seen the movie Contagion, it's kind of like that. The chapters switch from different locations and different days, so it's kind of like a chronicle of the flu spreading. It's realistic right down to the gory details (in this book though, the flu more resembles the black plague in which patients' internal organs are liquified...)The story is actually quite humorous at times. I cried a bucket reading it though.

...

Spare Change 
Reading time: 3 hours

Plot in a nutshell: A young boy witnesses his parents' killings and hitch hikes across the country to find his grandfather. Instead, he meets his grandfather's unlikely widow and gets into some good old fashioned Southern shenanigans.

Why I liked it: It was a simple read but masterfully told by the unique characters in the story. It's quirky and humorous, which is strange because uhm, did I not say that the boy witnessed his parents' killings? Okay. And there are lots of guns in this book. Everyone, even the child, knows how to shoot. Well anyways, I read the whole thing in a Southern accent (in my head) and it was cool.

...

Tell Me When It Hurts 
Reading Time: 4 hours

Plot in a nutshell: A woman is a part of a secret organization that assassinates murderers who go free because of technicalities in the legal system. She lives like a hermit in some isolated woods and is a skilled marksman.

Why I liked it: I'm drawn to criminal masterminds and it's my secret Plan B to become a criminal investigator if medical school doesn't pan out (uhm maybe I've said too much)...but yeah. It's a well-written and easy read that is just really, really fascinating.

...

Running Barefoot 
Reading Time: 4 hours

Plot in a nutshell: Set in a small town in Utah, a girl befriends a stoic Navajo Indian boy on a school bus and they have a really complicated friendship that revolves around music. They grow up to have a really complicated relationship.

Why I liked it: It was a heartwarming story and I actually cared about the characters, which is something that I personally challenge authors with. I like reading about characters growing up and developing personalities.

...

Contingency (Covenant of Trust)
Reading time: Days

Plot in a nutshell: This story is about a woman who discovers her husband has cheated on her. They are Christians. They deal with raw emotions involving pain from violation of trust, jealousy, healing, and accountability.

Why I liked it: This was actually a very painful read for me, because it's always hard to read about betrayal and heartache. But it is also quite scripturally sound and encouraging. It was a slow read for me, because I needed to digest it in small doses.

...

Wool
Reading Time: 1.5 hours

Plot in a nutshell: This is a really bizarre dystopian short story in which everyone lives in a single silo/barn/warehouse-like building and those who commit the "crime" are sentenced to death by leaving the silo and cleaning camera sensors. Yes, cleaning camera sensors. With wool. Get it? Wool? It's only part 1 of 5...and I haven't read the rest.

Why I liked it: It was free on Kindle e-books (where I get most of the rest of these titles!) and it was short. Haha. And also because it is really abstract and I had to read it twice...and I still don't get it. I do enjoy a literary challenge though, so maybe I should purchase the sequels 2-5.


Happy reading!

Here are some delicious things

Taking a nap on a breezy afternoon 

After-dinner chat with my father over hot tea 

Reuniting with the boyfriend after three months of long-distance 

Strolling hand-in-hand with cones of Ici's burnt caramel ice cream down College Avenue 

Stretching on my yoga mat after an hour-long solitary run around the lake 

National Geographic from 1988, found in my garage

Freshly baked scones for breakfast

Summer Reading

1. Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. A friend from Regen recommended this to me. D and I are reading it together this summer. What I actually mean is, I sped through it when I first got it, and have been waiting all summer for him to catch up. Just kidding! But not really.

2. Following Jesus in the "Real World" by Rich Lamb. I got this at DAC and pulled it out in a low moment of post-grad "What am I doing with my life?" It makes me reflect on my last four years in IV at Berkeley and how I can move forward in life without losing my faith. Any other IV-ers doing the same? I'd like to discuss, please.

3. The House of God by Samuel Shem. Recommended to me from a co-volunteer at The Hospital. I haven't started yet but will on Saturday. Don't let the title mislead you; it's not about religion, but rather, medicine and all of its imperfections. Another great medical-related reading is Complications by Atul Gawande, possibly my favorite nonfiction book ever. If you're a premed, read it and thank me later.

4. Desiring God by John Piper. Given to me by V as a birthday gift, I started reading slowly it in the spring. Not as heavily theological as C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, but not an easy read, either. I think the bottom line is, "The purpose of life is to glorify God by enjoying Him." How that happens is sometimes still a mystery to me. Then again, I am only 1/3 done with this thick read.

5. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Given to me by my lab researcher as a graduation gift, I tore through this in the first few days after I moved home. If I had read this earlier, say, when I was working at Sul Lab, doing lab research would have made a hundred times more sense! Combines issues of race, scientific breakthroughs, consent, bioethics in a great metanarrative.

6. Harry Potter 7. I'm going to re-read this right before I watch the movie so I can set myself up to be dissatisfied with the inevitable divergence from the true storyline.

Moving In (and back)

Hello from my parent's home! I have officially moved out of Haste apartment #305, and am currently residing in the guest bedroom because (a) my bedroom is filled to the brim with boxes and bags of things, and (b) I feel like a guest tonight. It's funny that pre-college, I would have simply said, "Hello from home!" I suppose I am just afraid of regressing to my pre-college days.

My last post was of some things that I found when I was packing up my apartment to move home. Moving 2 years' worth of possessions was easy peasy compared to cleaning out my room at home! I've lived here for 21 out of 22 years of my life, and have accrued more stuff than a measly apartment could fit. It doesn't help that my room at home is much smaller than my room at my Berkeley.

Here are some things that I came across today:

-A brand-new box of number 4 alto saxophone reeds from my high school jazz band days. I probably never had the guts to move up from a 3.5.

-Candle making kit that I think my roommie gave me for my birthday probably a decade ago.

-Barbie dolls. Oh, God. Barbie dolls. And all of their accessories and fluffy dresses and hairbrushes. My mom wants to keep them for my future children.

-Cards! Birthday, Christmas, Thank-You...I keep all mail correspondence that I receive. I shall sort out my shoebox of cards tomorrow.

-Kumon worksheets from Levels M to O. [Repressed memories here]

-Poster from when I led small group at Unit 1, titled "Offer Your Bodies as a Living Sacrifice, Holy and Pleasing to God--Romans 12:1." One of notes on there says, "You make all things work together for my good." I hope whoever wrote that still believes it.

**Affirmations plate from Unit 2 Small Group, when I was a freshman! They were written at the end of first semester, when we were still somewhat awkward. I will list some of them here because I got a kick from them. I will also include names because it is more fun, and it's amazing to think about how our relationships have changed over the last four years! Sorry if it embarrasses you; I think they are hilariously wonderful.

"Dear Connie, thank you for hanging with me @ 6am in the pool swimming. Love love love, Olivia."

"Mike reminded me what your name was, and I can now put a name to your face. Angela." (I'm sorry, but I really don't remember an Angela in our small group...)

"Hi Chem 4A Buddy! Yay for Quantum theory! It was nice knowing you in small group. You're awesome! Myron Poon."

"Connie! I love your laugh! And your ghetto talk which is way better than Wesley and Glenda's combined. I hope to hang out with you more esp cuz we're in the same discipleship group! :) Becky [with bunny picture]."

"You're smart. And crazy. You should visit Towle more. Jeffrey Yoshihara."

"Hey Connie! You always have insightful things to say at Small Group. Wesley."

So anyways, hope you laughed at one of them, at least. I think reminiscing on the past is one of my coping mechanisms to deal with sadness. It's actually not a very good coping mechanism, and probably even contributes to the problem. At Chapter Camp last week, one of the senior track speakers told us that we resort to what feels comfortable when we are in midst of transition. In my case, my brothers and I went to Ranch99 after dinner tonight and I shook salad bottle dressings for a few minutes--you know, the half-oil, half-settled-spices kind. For some reason, I've been doing that for years and it always makes me feel better. Emulsification therapy. No one except my brothers know this about me, but now you do. I hope you feel special.

I cried during service at Regen today, and I suppose I'll figure out why some time over the next few days. I tend to not process things that I experience until much later, which is both emotionally exhausting and somewhat frustrating. I may write a post about the transition home, what post-college plans I have, my hopes and fears for my new relationship (yes, it's true)...But for now, these silly lists will have to do.

Moving out (and on)

Things I found while packing up my apartment of two years:

-Testimony I gave at Asian Pacific American Conference

-Several passages of Mark, studied in Life Discipleship small group one year ago

-Playbill from Wicked

-Harry Potter card that plays the theme song, which Cheuk gave me for my 22nd birthday

-Frieda Kahlo notecards from SOMA, that I was going to give to a friend at school, but then never saw again.

-Red envelope with $20 inside

-Skein of mauve-colored yarn

-Recipe for Chicken Scallopini, from Brother's Appreciation Night

-Organic Chemistry model set

-Venn Diagram of dateability

Things I learned during Finals Week

This post is probably more aptly named, "I am technologically challenged Part 2."

1. I can log into gmail by typing my email name only and not my email@gmail.com. Hello, extra 1.5 seconds saved per log in.

2. Holding alt+tab does something really funky. I like it. I'm playing with it right now.

3. I can download lectures from bSpace by right clicking and choosing "Save link As." I no longer have to wait one million years for the PDFs to load in my browser (and sometimes they never do load).

4. I can save battery by making the screen dimmer. Useful at Moffitt, where there are no outlets anywhere.


This just goes to show, it is never too late to learn how to use a computer. In my case, I haven't yet started.

I am ready to maximize my college experience now.

By the numbers

10 days until my Integrative Biology graduation!

9 days to find a dress, haha.

8 hours of sleep in the last two days combined :(

7 days until my first and last final exams (note plurality)

6 degrees less than 100 = SNAP pool temperature for today

5 minutes allocated for a senior slideshow that took days to put together

4 days since my terrible sunburn

3 hours since the last Life Discipleship small group of the year ended

2 dozen cream puffs to bake for senior large group

1 reason to keep pressing on.

Chapstick Addiction!

Today while we were having lunch, B suggested to me that I write reviews for all of the lip moisturizers I have owned and used recently. This blog post is the fulfillment of that suggestion. Did I just take an hour and a half to find images for all of these products? Yes, you better believe it.

Guy or gal, addicted or not, enjoy! Or in my case, apply and re-apply!

*Just a note, the 'Lasting Factor' refers to the average time I can endure before I feel compelled to reapply the product. Individual results may vary. I am an anomaly.

CLASSIC CHAPSTICK in Original Flavor. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: Chronicles of Narnia, Cherry, Strawberry, Spearmint, Peppermint, Berry Flava-Craze

+Pros: Goes on smoothly, has SPF, not sticky. Plus, I can always find it in stores for about $1.

-Cons: Medicinal flavor, balm tends to gunk up around the rim of the cap or twist itself up, why is there always an annoying hole in the middle?

Lasting factor: 1 hour

BURT'S BEES BEESWAX LIP BALM, stick. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: Lifeguard's Choice, Honey

+Pros: Long-lasting, all-natural oils and extracts, tingly feel. I used this almost exclusively during swim season in high school, because it is water-resistant.

-Cons: Pure beeswax base makes my mouth feel like it's smothered in plastic wrap, has an opaque-y look if you slather it on. But who does that except me?

Lasting Factor: up to 3 hours

BURT'S BEES BEESWAX LIP BALM, tin

+Pros: Same as above, because I think it's the same formula.

-Cons: You have to use your finger to apply it. Ewww.

Lasting Factor: up to 3 hours

SOFTLIPS in Vanilla. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: Cherry and Strawberry

+Pros: SPF 20, glides on smoothly, has a sweetly subtle taste

-Cons: Doesn't last long on lips, or in tube. I finish these twice as quickly as any other lip balm brand, because it is 0.07-oz versus a standard 0.15-oz tube.

Lasting Factor: 1 hour

LIP SMACKERS in Skittles Flavored. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: I can't remember, which 8-year old girl hasn't used Bubble Gum, Razzle Dazzle, or other such nonsense? (FYI, I bought these when I was 18.)

+Pros: They taste like candy!

-Cons: They taste like candy. Sickly-sweet, expired Halloween candy. Reminds me of my fleeting youth. Too bad I bought a ten-pack at a rummage sale.

Lasting Factor: Avoid reapplying. Also avoid eating.

BLISTEX MEDICATED LIP BALM. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: Fruit Smoothies, Raspberry Lemonade Blast

+Pros: Tingly cool feeling when applied; SPF 15, soothes lips and isn't overly thick

-Cons: the Medicated variety tastes medicinal, but that's expected because it's medicated (duh). The Raspberry Lemonade Blast is terrible and an absolute last resort, like if I forgot my other 3 chapsticks at home.

Lasting Factor: 2 hours

CHICKEN POOP 100% Pure Free Range Lip Junk


+Pros: Contains jojoba oil, leaves lips feeling moisturized but not heavy. Subtle minty taste.


-Cons: The cashier said, "You must be easily amused." When you whip it out, people will stare. But don't worry, it says on the tube that it contains no chicken poop.

Lasting Factor: 2 hours

BLISTEX LIP FUSION, in Cherry.

+Pros: Uh. It's....kind of like a ball-point pen, in chapstick form. At least I think that's what they were going for.

-Cons: Thin, liquidy balm that tends to dribble down your lips, cold rolling metal ball that gets stuck sometimes. I also tend to not like twist-tops. They complicate things.

Lasting Factor: 10 minutes

LYPSYL LYPMOISTURIZER in Honeyberry.

+Pros: beeswax base for water resistance, feels smooth, clever push-up design, pleasant smell, a hefty 0.30-oz each.


-Cons: None. I think I liked everything about this lip balm.

Lasting Factor: 2.5 hours

C.O. BIGELOW ULTRA MENTHA LIP BALM. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: Violet Mint No.1646


+Pros: Super minty like the name suggests! And really shiny, too. Good for a gloss coat, but I don't know if I would use it alone.

-Cons: I would not want this on my lips when the wind is blowing my hair into my face. Also, it is $7.50 a tube ($3-$5 on sale), and I can only get it at Bath and Body Works.

Lasting Factor: 1.5 hours

BUDDHA BALM in Lychee Pomegranate.

+Pros: Sweetly flavored and fragranced, smooth gliding, soy-based and paraben-free. This was given to me by A, and reminds me of our favorite fruit, lychees!


-Cons: At no fault of its own, it went through my wash and now is semi water-logged. I think it'll be okay, though.

Lasting Factor: 1.5 hours

CARMEX STICK, in Cherry. Other flavors and varietals experienced include: Carmex Jar, Carmex Tube.

+Pros: SPF 15, beeswax base for water resistance, fruity menthol-y flavor. Ubiquitous Carmex brand.

-Cons: glides on thickly and kind of tacky-feeling. Not my favorite sensation in the world. Website claims that it is "non-addictive"--well...

Lasting Factor: 2.5 hours

FRESH SUGAR LIP TREATMENT

+Pros: SPF 15, loaded with fruit oils and vitamins, glides on silky-smooth with a delicious taste. My roommate gave this to me! It comes in a lovely heavy copper tube that won't untwist accidentally in your purse.


-Cons: This luxury item cost serious bank. Like, more than some jeans that I own. Once I finish this tube, there won't be another until after I have a salaried job.

Lasting Factor: 1.5 hours

EOS LIP BALM THAT MAKES YOU SMILE, in Lemon Drop, Summer Fruit, and Honeysuckle Honeydew.

+Pros: I've saved the best for last. Glides on smoothly, paraben and petrolatum-free, the company is all about organic and natural products. My favorite flavor is the summer fruit!

-Cons: Only awkwardly fits in your pocket.

Lasting Factor: 2 hours

My last Telebears

I updated my comprehensive course list because I had Telebears early this morning. I don't know why the formatting on my table is so weird, or why some fonts are large than others. All I know is that it is taking loads of self-restraint to keep from looking up more classes to take before I graduate. I think I am graduating with a little over 150 units! Anyways. Here we go.

Class and Semester	Title		Instructor	Highlight(s)
Fall 2007
Chem 4A	General Chemistry and Quantitative Analysis		Kim, Moretto, Saykally	Fun labs for the OCD individual, cool in-class demos/explosions by Lonnie
Math 1A	Calculus		Vojta	Nothing whatsoever. My most hated class in all of Cal. (See Math 1B SP’08)
ESPM 50AC	Introduction to Culture and Natural Resource Management		Spreyer	Getting a danish from my GSI because I remembered everyone’s name in section
Chem C96	Introduction to Research and Study in the College of Chemistry		Assorted Nobel Laureates	Interesting, complex topics that I could unfortunately not stay awake for 4-6pm.
Spring 2008
Physics 8A	Introductory Physics		Golightly	Sweet professor who no longer teaches, the pronunciation of “magnitude” with a long A sound, the sweetest guy GSI I’ve ever met
Math 1B	Calculus		Jones	Prof was a chalk-covered mad scientist, told funny anecdotes that he calls “True Stories.”
Psych 1	General Psychology		Shimamura	Enthusiastic prof, material that makes you go “Wow!” and fun RPP experiments
NST 10	Introduction to Human Nutrition		Amy	What’s not fun about food? Also, not having to take the final exam. Sweet.
Fall 2008
Chem 3A	Chemical Structure and Reactivity		Pederson	I LOVE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY! (I’m not being sarcastic) Benzene rings are cute.
Chem 3AL	Chemical Structure and Reactivity Lab		Viernes	Having an MIT grad student as a lab partner was a plus, after I got over the intimidation
Bio 1B	General Biology		Carlson, Power, Mishler	Plants and evolution are interesting. Ecology with Mary Power, not so much…
Astro C10	Introduction to General Astronomy		Filippenko	Stargazing with the telescope on top of Campbell and meteor shower party at 4AM.
Plant Bio 10	Plants, Agriculture, and Society		Staskawicsz	Broad (easy!) overview of how cool plants are. Good nap time after swim class.
PE 3 Swimming	Physical Education Activities		Stefke	Swimming in the rain! The ultimate socializing class.
Spring 2009
Bio 1A	General Biology		Wilt, Rine, Firestone	Hm. The only thing I can think of is “What do you want from me, I’m old!”—Wilt
Bio 1AL	General Biology Lab		Helen	2 units for a dozen hours of studying per week was justified by cool dissections
Chem 3B	Chemical Structure and Reactivity		Pederson	Even more fun than Chem 3A! I would major in Organic Chemistry if I could…
Chem 3BL	Chemical Structure and Reactivity Lab		Pederson	My GSI fell asleep during my presentation and I called him out on it. I got an A.
NST 11	Introduction to Toxicology		Bjeldanes, Martin, Cassida	Toxicology is interesting and relevant. Half an hour of naptime before class helped.
Opt 10	The Eye and Vision in a Changing Environment		Adams	Video of eye surgery made me want to pursue optometry/ophthalmology as a career. Also! Case studies of nail in eye, acid in eye, blunt impact to eye! Cool!
PE 3 Swimming	Physical Education Activities		Stefke	Swimming in the sunshine! Ah, to be fit again.
Fall 2009
GWS 130AC	Gender, Race, Nation and Health		Thompson	International spin on health, race, and gender! So awesome! My favorite class.
Stat 2	Introduction to Statistics		D’abrera	Prof brought Tom-Tom cookies from Australia.
MCB 102	Survey of the Principles of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology		I honestly don’t remember	Metabolism is fun because it’s just all memorization. I can tell you some funny mnemonics to help you study! J
MCB 199	Directed Independent Study—Research Lab		Sul/Firestone	We study brown fat transcription factors. I do stuff for a postdoc.
PH 116	Seminar on Social, Political, and Ethical Issues in Health and Medicine		Assorted lecturers	Interesting range of topics from ethics and endocrinology to community nutrition.
PH 198	Seminar on Social, Political, and Ethical Issues in Health and Medicine		TA	This was the PH116 section. We ate donuts and bagels and talked about birth control.
Spring 2010
IB 169	Evolutionary Medicine		Carlson	First time taught. Evolutionary medicine is interesting, little-explored, and relevant!
Physics 8B	Introductory Physics		Deweese	Optics was fun. The best part about physics is not having to write up labs at home.
Slavic 50	Introduction to Russian/East European/Eurasian Cultures--Slavic Languages And Literatures		Coyne	Slavic cinema and literature is fascinating! Some of the stuff went over my head. I want to learn how to speak Russian and write in Cyrillic.
IB 199	Directed Independent Study—Research Lab		Sul	This is still my research lab, but now that I’m declared in IB, I switched it to IB199. I do top secret cool things.
MCB 180	Undergraduate Teaching Bio 1AL		Meighan	One of my students called my tank demos “Connie’s Amazing Marine Adventures.” Ah, I miss them already.
Fall 2010
IB 131	Human Anatomy		Carlson	Memorizing names of body parts you didn’t know you had.
IB 131L	Human Anatomy Lab		Carlson	5x more work than 131, but you get to touch cadavers, bones, tissues!
English 45C	Literature in English from mid-19th through the 20th century		Wong	My GSI uses words like “Keatsian valorization.” =(
IB c139	Biology of Stress		Francis	Kind of stressful and not very interesting, in my opinion
IB 199 or IB 196A	Lab Research		Sul	I just do volunteer research for fun now.
IB 117	Medical Ethnobotany		Carlson	How different groups around the world use plants! A lot more molecular/neurotransmitter mechanisms than I expected.
Spring 2011
IB 132	Mammalian Physiology
IB 132L	Mammalian Physiology Lab
IB 140	Human Reproduction
German c109	Language and Power