Hello from my parent's home! I have officially moved out of Haste apartment #305, and am currently residing in the guest bedroom because (a) my bedroom is filled to the brim with boxes and bags of things, and (b) I feel like a guest tonight. It's funny that pre-college, I would have simply said, "Hello from home!" I suppose I am just afraid of regressing to my pre-college days.
My last post was of some things that I found when I was packing up my apartment to move home. Moving 2 years' worth of possessions was easy peasy compared to cleaning out my room at home! I've lived here for 21 out of 22 years of my life, and have accrued more stuff than a measly apartment could fit. It doesn't help that my room at home is much smaller than my room at my Berkeley.
Here are some things that I came across today:
-A brand-new box of number 4 alto saxophone reeds from my high school jazz band days. I probably never had the guts to move up from a 3.5.
-Candle making kit that I think my roommie gave me for my birthday probably a decade ago.
-Barbie dolls. Oh, God. Barbie dolls. And all of their accessories and fluffy dresses and hairbrushes. My mom wants to keep them for my future children.
-Cards! Birthday, Christmas, Thank-You...I keep all mail correspondence that I receive. I shall sort out my shoebox of cards tomorrow.
-Kumon worksheets from Levels M to O. [Repressed memories here]
-Poster from when I led small group at Unit 1, titled "Offer Your Bodies as a Living Sacrifice, Holy and Pleasing to God--Romans 12:1." One of notes on there says, "You make all things work together for my good." I hope whoever wrote that still believes it.
**Affirmations plate from Unit 2 Small Group, when I was a freshman! They were written at the end of first semester, when we were still somewhat awkward. I will list some of them here because I got a kick from them. I will also include names because it is more fun, and it's amazing to think about how our relationships have changed over the last four years! Sorry if it embarrasses you; I think they are hilariously wonderful.
"Dear Connie, thank you for hanging with me @ 6am in the pool swimming. Love love love, Olivia."
"Mike reminded me what your name was, and I can now put a name to your face. Angela." (I'm sorry, but I really don't remember an Angela in our small group...)
"Hi Chem 4A Buddy! Yay for Quantum theory! It was nice knowing you in small group. You're awesome! Myron Poon."
"Connie! I love your laugh! And your ghetto talk which is way better than Wesley and Glenda's combined. I hope to hang out with you more esp cuz we're in the same discipleship group! :) Becky [with bunny picture]."
"You're smart. And crazy. You should visit Towle more. Jeffrey Yoshihara."
"Hey Connie! You always have insightful things to say at Small Group. Wesley."
So anyways, hope you laughed at one of them, at least. I think reminiscing on the past is one of my coping mechanisms to deal with sadness. It's actually not a very good coping mechanism, and probably even contributes to the problem. At Chapter Camp last week, one of the senior track speakers told us that we resort to what feels comfortable when we are in midst of transition. In my case, my brothers and I went to Ranch99 after dinner tonight and I shook salad bottle dressings for a few minutes--you know, the half-oil, half-settled-spices kind. For some reason, I've been doing that for years and it always makes me feel better. Emulsification therapy. No one except my brothers know this about me, but now you do. I hope you feel special.
I cried during service at Regen today, and I suppose I'll figure out why some time over the next few days. I tend to not process things that I experience until much later, which is both emotionally exhausting and somewhat frustrating. I may write a post about the transition home, what post-college plans I have, my hopes and fears for my new relationship (yes, it's true)...But for now, these silly lists will have to do.
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