First Week Reflections

I think I have to keep this blog up extra these days because I don't know how to process all of my emotions.

The first couple of days here in Small Town were tough. Like I-want-to-drive-back-to-my-apartment-and-quit tough.

Here is my room. It is probably the size of a bathroom. I can't stand far enough away to get all of it in. The window has a fantastic view of construction, and there is a construction worker standing outside at this very second. I keep the blinds drawn at all times. Yes, that is a sleeping bag.

This is the surgery locker room. It has a bathroom and a mirror, two things that are accessible to me in the surgery locker room.

At some point I wanted to draw you a map so I could show you were I walk to take a shower. It's past nursing stations and patient rooms. I'm scared that on my morning trudge to pee, I'll be stopped by a patient who wants something. Then I'll be like "Uhm...sorry I just woke up and I'm still in pajamas. Please let me pee and brush my teeth. Then maybe I'll get back to you." Luckily this hospital is so small we don't have more than 10 inpatients at any given time. However, they do like to congregate in the sitting area near our "sleep rooms," and I'm kind of reluctant to enter and exit my room when they are here. It's not a pretty sight and I don't want everyone to see where I sleep. I use a bathroom in this hallway that patients and families can also use. I hear them knocking when I brush my teeth in the morning. It's weird. I probably have VRE or MRSA already colonized on my body somewhere.

So like I said before, the first couple days were rough. We work long hours because in this family medicine rotation, our attendings do a lot. The center is a regional one and they are often stretched for resources. My attending wears lots of hats, including hospitalist, clinician, and obstetrician. He's been here 30 years and has amassed quite a staggering number of patients compared to the newer partners. My day usually goes from 630am to 7pm. The frustrating part is that lots of time here is spent gossiping and talking about personal lives. I feel like if we cut to the business it would be 4x quicker. But then again, that's not the small town family medicine style. There is ALWAYS time to chat with anyone you meet. There is ALWAYS time to grab coffee.

Plus, the diversity aspect. On my first day here, people looked at me weird. People asked me where I'm from. Someone asked me "Is Taiwan part of the Orient?" My attending suggested we go eat at the Chinese restaurant ("Will they be able to speak with you?" to which I said, "Yes, if we speak the same language...." which was less an attempt to be snarky as it is the definition of being able to communicate.) 

On Friday, our "day off," we did procedures (I did my first punch biopsy and suture!) in the morning and then went to the nursing home to see patients until the evening. This weekend we are on OB call. I woke up at 6am thinking I had time to go to Walmart to buy some bare necessities (I'm going water-free: dry shampoo, moist towelettes, etc) when my doc called me: they were having a woman in labor and delivery.

So I hustled out of Walmart forgetting to buy things like food (who needs that anyway)...only to show up at the OB hallway to find everyone sitting around drinking coffee and reading the paper. My doc wasn't even here yet ("I'm eating breakfast, be there soon.") When he did come, we examined the patient. She was 19 years old, outbursty and agitated. At one point she said, "Why's everyone standing so close? Back up!" She had her younger brother in the room also. He was probably 9 or 10. I'm not sure why she called him in to watch the delivery. Also present were baby daddy, baby daddy's mom, and mom.

The delivery was quick. When my attending came back from his trip downtown to buy fixtures for his bathroom remodeling, we examined her again. And then, "Baby! Baby! I see the baby! No!" there was no time for gowning or gloving. The baby came quickly and the entire body shot through in under 10 seconds. I wonder if my attending hadn't come back from perusing bathroom fixtures if I'd have to do it alone. It was basically me and the janitor in the whole department at the time. The placenta came a few minutes after, and I think that's what really got to her kid brother. I took him outside and asked if he wanted juice. He said no. Weird family dynamics.

Now I've retreated back to my closet space room, and am going to try to sleep before probably getting called to do something else. Since I live in the hospital now, it doesn't take much time to get to work. But it's still a challenge to navigate the hallways with all my things in town. I have a gym bag containing most toiletries, clothes, and shoes. But have you ever tried carrying your life with you at all times? You're bound to forget something at some time.

I just hope I don't forget my key and get stranded in the med surg hallways in my pajamas.