Things I'm Looking Forward to

I had a hard time adjusting in college. Yes, it was only 20 miles away from home, but it felt like a different world. The teenage/young-20s transition was rough.

I used to sit on the floor in the dungeons of Evans before every Math 1A section, and jot down notes in my little black memo pad. It contained "Things I'm looking forward to"--BARTing home on the weekend, seeing my parents and brother (back when my younger brother was still in middle/high school), eating homecooked food, shopping at Macy's with my mom, sleeping in my own bed. Those were the things that kept me going when I felt like I couldn't get anything right. Those were the little hopes I went back to when I felt like I had no hope.

Dramatic times, I know.


In these last two weeks leading up to my Step 1 exam, I've been thinking a lot about what I'm looking forward to. I've been studying for 3 weeks now and feel like I'm hitting a plateau. The scores aren't raising like they should. The associations aren't sticking. I know at this point I can pass the exam comfortably, but I put so much pressure on myself to do well enough to be able to do residency anywhere in the country. That's the goal.

So I made a list of Things I'm Looking Forward to:

-Going home on June 14 (technically, I land on the 15th. No direct flights = 12 hour travels)
-Seeing my dad and then my mom a few days later, and then my brothers a few days after that! Both of them!
-Shopping at Macy's with my mom
-Having lunch with my dad
-Boba and TV with my brothers
-Catching up with friends. If you are a friend who would like to catch up with me, let me know. I've plunged in a rabbit hole these last two years and my friends pool has dwindled, so come out of the woodwork if you're willing!
-Eating Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai food. I vow to eat everything in sight. 
-Not opening a book unless for fun
-Starting my clinical rotations 6 days later. 

Things don't really change much, do they?