Boundaries Part 1: Patients

Recently, a coworker told me about a patient's husband who made her uncomfortable. He didn't do anything inappropriate, per se. He had merely pulled her aside and told her how much he appreciated her patience and kindness in his wife's care. The tipping point was when he started crying into her shoulder.

Now, many of you are probably thinking, "What's wrong with that?" Isn't one of the great rewards of medicine being able to help people to the point of expressed gratitude? That's probably why many people decide to go into medicine, after all.  

Like my coworker who is wary of these uncomfortable situations, I find that I tend to avoid patients who especially seem to like me.
 
There is one patient, who, due to perhaps our shared ethnicity (and his shared age with my dad...), loves to tap me on the shoulder whenever he sees me for no reason other than to announce that he is here. Instead of writing his name on the sign-in sheet like a normal patient, he taps me on the shoulder or gives a playful nudge. He always asks for me when he calls, even if someone else can take care of the issue. He asks me if I'm wearing a new blouse, or new glasses. And I absolutely dread screening him.

Last week, another patient found out that I am Christian. During my screening, he had shared with me that he's undergone 10 eye surgeries, each one less promising than the last. He told me that he turns to the Lord for comfort and reassurance, and is finding peace in his prognosis of potentially going blind. It was then that I revealed that I too, find great comfort in my faith. We shared in a very poignant moment of appreciation for life. But....ever since then, he has brought literature to the office to give me, invited me to his church so that I can learn to speak in tongues, and wants me to visit him at his home.  Now, I absolutely dread screening him as well.

What do all of these cases have in common? For one, all of the offenders are men. I cannot think of a single woman patient who has complimented me who I would want to avoid. Secondly, all of the patients are nice, but have overstepped professional boundaries. There might also be a physical aspect--the touching, observing, etc. that violates our personal space.


My coworker says we are creeped out because we are young and female. And she's right.