Essentially, we are in our clinical exam groups of four students, and we rotate through standardized patient stations in our practice clinical suites. Standardized patients are hired fake patients who allow us to poke and prod them, and usually of retirement age (although occasionally the broke college student earning a few bucks).
Here are some gems from my session:
- N and I definitely had the upper hand over the guys when we did the female genital speculum exam. As the smallest person in my group, I had to gain leverage with a stool in order to lean all the way to palpate the cervix during the bimanual exam. You read that correctly.
- Before we did the rectal exam on this very elderly male standardized patient, the instructor said, "Wait! We need to lay down this tarp at the request of the custodial staff." And we were all horrified like, "What the heck is going to come out of there....?!"
- T glommed on WAY too much lubricant on the anal opening and ruined it for the rest of us who went after him. Hence, the tarp.
- The breast exam was the easiest one for many of us to do. It just seemed less invasive.
- S's standardized patient told him to maintain eye contact AS HE PALPATED THE PENILE SHAFT. Can you say awkward?!
- Being crammed in a small, hot exam room with 7 people (2 of which were half-naked) for 2 hours is a bad idea when the purpose is to do the male genital exam. I needed to step out for air after the first hour.
- We're not supposed to say "feel" or "touch" or "looks good" for obvious reasons. Here are some acceptable statements: "Appears to be normal mucosa," "Foot rests" (not stirrups), "I am inserting my finger now," "Please widen your stance" (instead of 'Spread your legs!')
- Overall an excellent educational experience...we have to learn somewhere, right? I hope they pay the patients a lot of money.
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