Going home

I'm going home on Friday but it doesn't feel the same this time.

The last three times I've gone home from Iowa, it was a welcomed respite from studying and feeling awful and being all sorts of stressed out and physically sick. The mere thought of going home--to see my parents, to sleep in my comfy bed, to be warm for a change, to rest from school, to see friends, to eat good Chinese food--was the only thing keeping me from breaking down and crying all the time during my first semester and parts of the second. Home kept me hopeful.

To go home at the end of summer is different.

I've been having an enjoyable summer here doing research that interests me, with a wide variety of clinical opportunities. I've found a niche. I've cemented some new friendships and bonded with classmates I hadn't expected to like. I've kept in touch with my family through FaceTime now that my parents got new iPhones. Basically, I haven't felt the desperation that I associate with the daily grind of medical school.

But I'm happy to go home nonetheless. It'll be my last time before Thanksgiving or Christmas, depending on my workload. With only three weeks in between the holidays, it's a hard decision to spend $500-650 on a plane ticket, but those three weeks also feel like an eternity at that point. Last year it was worth every penny. I'm going to try to make the most of my time at home for now.