In an anticlimactic turn of events

I was accepted to medical school on Tuesday, October 16. When I turned off my iPhone alarm in the morning after landing from Cleveland, I checked my email in one fell swoop...I love being able to do that. And there it was in the subject line--"Saint Louis Acceptance." I turned over and went back to sleep. I didn't even read the rest of the email. I later texted my two brothers and waited for my parents to come home from work to tell them in person. My dad hugged me and said something about being the second "Dr. Chen" in the family but the first MD, and my mom said, "Oh, good," as she unloaded groceries. 


It hasn't hit me yet. I guess. Probably. Maybe. Eh.


Mostly because I am still in the thick of interviewing. If I only knew right now that SLU is the only place that accepted me, then I would make peace and start to plan for attending next fall. But I am still waiting on 23 (!) schools to get back to me...and that is a lot of hope spread over a lot of schools...and a lot of time. The secondary application cycle hasn't even closed yet.


Three years ago, an adviser told me that no medical school would ever consider me. I cried that night at Large Group, sitting on the floor in the aisle of Evans, as the worship team played. A friend on the prayer team interceded for me, and I'm pretty sure my noisy, messy sobs embarrassed him and everyone within earshot. He asked me, "Do you believe that adviser, or do you believe that God can redeem?" I sure as heck didn't want to believe the adviser, but I wasn't sure I believed God could redeem my mediocre grades and now, shattered self-esteem and broken dreams.


But He has. And oh, He has.


These last years have been a slow buildup to showing me His mercy and kindness and goodness. These last years have been a tumultuous battle against my own fears and insecurities, of number crunching and what ifs...and this is just a small instance of how He conquers. Yes, getting into medical school is just a small instance! It doesn't end here, I'm certain of it. And this is why it has been anticlimactic--because this isn't a peak that overshadows other achievements. It's merely another step in this journey that will cause me to need Him more and more.