Application Season

In the last two weeks, I've received close to all of my secondary applications--26 separate schools.


Last year, when I was itching to apply to medical school, I set hard goals for myself. I would submit the primary application the first day it was available. No matter what. I would crank out secondary after secondary in just one week a piece, to beat the rush. Medical school applications are rolling, after all.


But those idealized days have come and gone.


My primary application was submitted 4 days after submissions were open, but stalled for another 9 days because of my pending transcript. It was processed about a month later.  Those were some carefree (yet anxiety-inducing) days of having no med school related stuff to do. I mostly just worked a lot of hours and hung out with friends while awaiting news.


The first day that I received a secondary, I was ecstatic. I opened it right away, set up the account, and got to work on writing the essays. The second day, when I received a huge clump of them altogether, I was less excited. I still opened the emails, set up the accounts, and dutifully opened up a Word document. (On a side note, am I the only one who uses a different password for every major account? I rarely use the same password twice, and I change my gmail password on a monthly basis.)


Now, two weeks later, I'm neck deep in untouched secondaries. I've stopped glancing at the prompts because they all have started to sound the same. What is interesting about me? What drives me? I'm starting to become bored of packaging what I believe is true about me...in 26 different ways.  That, or I'm intimidated by questions like "What is your interest in our school?" because my research doesn't seem to produce answers that are both sincere and original at the same time...


So that brings me to now. I can't seem to complete any, except for the ones that don't require much writing, only a photo. Even then I have a hard time submitting it--Is my photo professional enough? Should it be more white-background and passport-like? Is my smile weird? Eh whatever, I just want to crawl into bed and read my new issue of National Geographic. Bah.


Last Year Me would have been horrified at how much I'm stalling. She would have scoffed and pridefully said that I would never be that lazy. Well, the hard goals that we set for ourselves often break under strain.

But my mind is constantly being renewed and shaped to trade up for What Is Better. This Year Me trusts in God a whole lot more.


(By the way, this is the photo that I am using).