Senior Large Group

Did that just happen?

The culmination of Google docs flying back and forth, so sick of those bolded black letters beckoning me to click and compile and gather and update.
I keep thinking to myself that the only thing worth it is Jesus.
I keep wondering where God was in all of it. Did He look at the late night planning meetings and smile? Was He pleased that we chose to pour hours into this one night instead of studying or eating or sleeping?
What feels like a sacrifice is sometimes not a sacrifice at all, but an act of self-glorification.

In some ways I felt like I had sold out. I had made Senior Large Group an idol.
We chose work over rest and justified it with "I hope this blesses someone."
The only redeeming factor was to pray, pray, pray.
I had my hand in a lot of things, but praying was my only real contribution to senior large group.
"The real work is being done right now," prayed Y.
Without His Spirit, all is for nothing. Like a sailboat on a windless day.
Then it happened. Showtime? (Was it a show?)
Black and white and pins gathered in a circle. Dropped all things to pray.

This is my senior class.
People whom I love dearly. Have shared with freely. Been blessed by immensely.
People whom I confide in daily. Cry with occasionally. Pray with regularly.
Not without our sins and ugliness and misunderstandings and selfishness and petty arguments.
But not without redemption, either. Rated R for Redeemed.

So sappy, right?
And then it hit me during the last worship set.
I danced freely in the back, drinking in the sights and sounds of believers worshiping because things just. won't. be. the. same. again.
The only reason we're here is because of our God.
He's the common thread that stitches us together. The lifeblood of our collective Body.
This is where God was in all of it. He is in us.