SNAP Wednesdays

You are correct, SNAP Mondays are no longer. Today was the first day of volunteering for a Wednesday class of Special Needs Aquatics Program for me.

I was really excited last night. I imagined meeting my swimmer; his or her smiling face, eager for being in the water and enjoying freedom of movement. So I carried over last semester's expectations with me to the heated pool at 4pm, early for my 4:30pm class.

4:30pm came and went. No other helpers from the program were there. 4:45pm came and went. No parents were there, either. Just a bunch of elderly folks in the 94-degree pool, doing water meditation. I took out my IB 140 reader to kill some time. I felt like a silly sunbather who was dressed to swim, but not actually intending to.

At 5:00pm, our program director walks through the door, and some other helpers trickled in after her. Apparently, our Wednesday 4:30pm class has been pushed back to 5:15pm. I didn't get the memo. In times like these, I wish I had a smart phone with internet access so I could check my email throughout the day. Imagine sitting in a humid sauna for 45 minutes, trying to study while looking up every few minutes to check if anyone's arrived. That's basically what I did.

Our program director informs me that my swimmer will not be coming today. Wednesday class is full of older swimmers, aged 15 to 18. My swimmer is 17. I was used to working with E, who was only seven. He was sweet, eager, bubbly, and fairly easy to work with. I think I make a pretty good kindergarten teacher, even in the water, because I have the experience. But 17-year olds are a different story. I have an almost 17-year old brother (Valentine's Day is his birthday!) but my interactions with him will no doubt be different from my interactions with my swimmer.

From what the director told me, my swimmer probably didn't show up to class because he had been very attached to his old helper. In delicate words, he doesn't get along with many helpers, and his special needs have needs of their own. So of course, that made me really nervous. I have big shoes to fill. I don't even know my swimmer yet, and already I'm intimidated by him. I'm afraid of falling short, of not being able to be an effective teacher, of being disliked. In other contexts, like small group, for example, I feel like I could use my wits, maybe throw in some humor, and everything would be okay. I could win people over. But not so in SNAP.

The bond between two individuals is a very mysterious thing indeed, made infinitely more complicated by circumstances.

As I ran home from Milvia and Durant, dehydrated from two hours of heat, and almost late to small group, I couldn't help but think back to E, and how much I missed him. He's on a different day now, at the YMCA, and I probably won't see him again. We were making such great progress, too. I missed teaching with K, with whom I communicated well. I'm on my own this semester. Basically, I missed everything about SNAP Mondays. Then I started thinking about why I had started volunteering for Special Needs Aquatics Program in the first place.

I was swimming at Hearst one day. I had been considering accepting a paid job offer to develop and support Bio 1AL labs. I had a lot on my mind. I was wondering how God could use me in more ways than just my knowledge of biology. I saw a flyer on the wall in the locker room. Volunteer for SNAP! Kids. Swimming. Teaching. Needs. It all made sense. This is was what I was waiting for.

Fast forward to today. I am letting my expectations and fears get the better of me. I need to trust that there is transformation to be had, both in me and in my swimmer. I'm still pretty nervous about next week, about whether or not he'll show up, whether or not he'll like me. I wonder if he is sarcastic, if he likes being talked to as if we were close friends, if he enjoys hearing about what being a college student is like.

I'll let you know next week.