Day at the Office | Chairs

Nowadays, there seem to be too few chairs in the office. When I first started my probationary period, I was the only office volunteer on Thursdays. Now there are at least four others, including Boss Man. Perhaps it is fitting that I should be leaving soon.

Today, before I dove into my foot-high stack of files of people to interview, Boss Man wanted my help picking out two chairs. The Old Hospital Building is being demolished soon, and the employees who work there are being moved to different locations. So the copy room that I used to frequent now has a bunch of abandoned office chairs that are being sent to salvage.

We each sat on a chair. Fiddled with the knobs. Swiveled around. Bounced up and down. Sat back, stretched out our legs, and twiddled our thumbs for a minute. We each picked a chair we liked, wheeled it to our respective offices, and that was that.

I'm not sure what the point of that story was. Maybe there is none.

Sometimes I wonder why they like me so much at the office. I'm told I have a good receptionist voice. I have a professional phone demeanor. I have a good listening ear. I'm also unparalleled when it comes to letting people down in a gentle yet direct way. They call it "The Connie." I get all applicants with poor availability, incomplete applications, or are just kind of rude. Then I tell them in my most understanding tone, "I'm sorry, but it seems that our program just isn't the best fit for you at this time. If your schedule changes, please do reapply in the future."

Maybe I'm cut out to be a receptionist. Or George Clooney from Up in the Air. Only, I don't particularly enjoy talking on the phone for five hours, and the torture of copy machines is almost too much for me to handle.

Which brings me to right now. I've already clocked 100 hours as of today. Probation is only 80 hours. I'm in a transitional limbo, of not yet moving into the Emergency Department, but no longer being the main office volunteer. I just received a phone call as I was typing out this blog, from the ED lead volunteer. He asked if I was free tomorrow at 5pm to start my training.

Sigh. Fridays.

Fridays are when I host LD dinners before Large Group. It's been my vision for some time now, to have these dinners where we could pool our resources, time, and money to share a home-cooked meal. Kind of like a co-op. ;) We've been doing them for a little over a month now, and it's been wonderful. I love getting to know my small group better, and to teach them a thing or two about cooking.

Another important point is to get away from the habit of plastic take-out containers, disposable utensils, and excess food and paper waste. One of the barriers for me last year was not wanting to eat at Asian ghetto every week, so eventually I just stopped going to small group dinners. It's not that I'm totally against eating out; I purchase take-out maybe once a semester, and I eat in sit-down restaurants maybe once every few weeks. But given the choice between cooking food in my own apartment and picking something up on the way home, I will almost always choose the former. I'm grateful that this year, I am in a position where I can potentially influence others to choose into stewardship of resources, environmentally and financially. I think that living in accordance to kingdom values doesn't have to be difficult when a community is doing it together.

Which brings me to Fridays. Which is when my potential ED shift is scheduled. Smack dab through LD dinners and running an hour into Large group. It's one or the other.

Volunteering at the hospital has been something that I've wanted to do for a very long time. And now that I've finished probation, am highly favored by Boss Man, and have the most competitive volunteer department in the county open to me, I am torn. Torn between my small group, and in essence, serving God and my community in a tangible way, and my future aspirations of going to medical school and being a physician. I wonder from time to time if they are mutually exclusive. It seems that as of right now, they are. I am getting tired of standing at this fork in the road.

In the end, I told the ED lead no, I already have other commitments. I've got my mind set on cooking curry for my small group this week.

That's what a sacrifice is, right? Choosing someone or something over yourself.

When I write it out, it sounds like such triviality is giving me undue anguish and unrest. You might ask, "You'd rather eat dinner than volunteer at the Emergency Department?" Which is something that I've also asked myself. Honestly, I don't know if my small group sees my vision as an act of discipleship. Maybe it's just dinner. Maybe no one cares. Which is completely fine with me. All I can do is invite others into my convictions.

One verse that comes to mind is "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2.

So I guess I'll keep waiting and praying. That God and my career goals will intertwine beautifully in ways I can't even imagine.