Break Time!

Independent Study Break right now! If I don't go back to the building to eat the lunch they're providing us, I am free until 1pm! YESSS. This never happens.

So I've been blogging a lot about general happenstances here, and not so much about more important things. I know that having a fellowship and being around Christians all the time shouldn't be a catalyst for faith, but it's easy to fall away from reading scripture and listening to God here. I think that is where I currently am. Sort of fighting my head to find peace in my heart.

I went to two services yesterday. One in the morning, at University Baptist, where I've gone for the last three Sundays. One in the afternoon, at St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church. Having never been to a Catholic mass before, I felt like a newb. No wonder people go through catechism and such--everything was so structured, everyone in tuned with the call-and-response nature of the service. "Up-down-right-left!" my friend whispered to me as I made the sign of the cross in the wrong order, and with my left hand instead of my right. At times I wondered if there was something inherently wrong about me attending mass, since I'm not Catholic. I tried focusing on the message the priest delivered instead. After all, we are worshipping the same God. Like at University Baptist, the structure and unfamiliarity tripped me up at first. In both churches, I got lost and felt silly when my hymn book wasn't opened right after the litany or I didn't kneel before sitting down at the pew.

But...then I wonder, are we really called to master the art of church-going to experience God? This has never been a question of mine before. But then again, I've never gone to church anywhere except for the Bay Area before.

Despite the initial awkwardness, I think that going to a church in a different place (and I don't mean going to Living Water if you've always gone to Regen) is one of the greatest things, ever. God isn't limited to working in one place. And while IV/Regen/my home church are fun, welcoming, and full of some of my favorite people in the world, Christianity is not always this way. Really trying to listen to God amidst all the distractions, protocols, Sunday attire, and unfamiliar people has been such a wonderful challenge.

Okay. That took a long time to get out. Thanks for reading this far.

I keep telling myself that if God wants me to be a doctor, then my path is already paved and I just need to find it amongst the overgrown shrubbery of my life. Or do I have it backwards? That, instead of weeding through the things I perceive as extraneous, I should be stepping back to look at the whole forest? I hope the path isn't made of breadcrumbs or white pebbles.